Children are not usually given phones to promote their development. They are given for convenience – more precisely, for the convenience of parents, so that children are occupied, quiet, and do not demand additional attention. This is not a compromise, and it is not a parenting tool. It is a transfer of responsibility to the screen.
A phone is not necessary
Children under the age of adolescence have no objective need for a smartphone. Not for learning, socializing or safety. These arguments are used to justify irresponsible decisions, not because they are true. In real life, children are given phones so that they don’t disturb or “get on your nerves.” This is not a solution to the child’s needs, it is a solution to the parent’s unwillingness to get involved.
Why this age in particular:
- Learning
Before school and in the early grades, a personal smartphone is not necessary. If the internet is needed to complete assignments, it can be provided via a computer at specific times, rather than via a pocket device with unlimited access. - Socialization
Children’s social skills are developed in person, not in digital chats. A phone does not expand socialization, it replaces it with a digital imitation. - For safety
Safety is provided by parents, not smartphones. A simple push-button phone is sufficient for communication, if there is a real need for it at all.
What the phone actually replaces
When a child is given a phone, no new value is added — basic things are replaced. Parental time, conversation and boredom, which are a normal and necessary part of development, are replaced by constant stimulation. The phone does not solve problems, it postpones them. The longer they are postponed, the more complicated and painful they become later on.
The consequences are not theoretical
This is not a matter of speculation or opinion. The consequences are visible in practice. Children who use phones early and regularly are more likely to demonstrate weaker attention spans and problems with impulse control. The earlier the phone becomes part of everyday life, the stronger its influence. This is not a matter of taste or generational conflict. It is a law of nature. (There are many studies on the Internet that prove this experimentally.)
“Everyone does it” is not an argument
The fact that other parents make bad decisions does not make them right. Parenting is not a social experiment with a “whatever happens, happens” attitude. If almost everyone gives their child a phone, but as a result we see nervous and easily irritable children, then the problem is not with the children. The problem is with the parents.
What to do
No special pedagogical tricks or expensive solutions are needed. Children need things that take time, not technology: movement, tasks that make them think, conversations, and the opportunity to simply be bored. This requires the presence and involvement of parents. That is precisely why the phone is so popular — it allows you to not get involved.
Parent or screen operator
If a child is “raised” with a phone, they are not really being raised. They are temporarily made more comfortable. The role of a parent is not to ensure silence or peace at all costs. The role of a parent is to raise a person by passing on their accumulated experience. A phone will not do that for you, no matter how convenient it may seem at the moment.