Why do people suddenly change after a divorce, start doing things that are unusual for them?
Have you noticed that people start doing unusual things immediately after a divorce – signing up for new courses, starting to exercise almost every day, or completely transforming their lives? This sudden energy often means that the relationship was not as “successful” or healthy as it might seem from the outside.
When freedom promotes growth
Healthy relationships usually allow both partners to grow. If someone only starts to “grow” after a break-up, it may be because that person felt limited or stuck in the relationship. Divorce gives space and freedom to focus on what they really want.
The challenge Effect
Not all the energy of change comes from freedom. Sometimes divorce causes emotional upheaval, when a person feels the need to prove something to themselves, their ex-partner or the world. It’s like a start button in the mind:
- I will show you what you have lost.
- I am stronger and better than you thought.
- I will not allow myself to be seen as a weak person.
This reaction comes from ego, pride and the desire to regain control after feeling rejected.
How does it manifest itself?
Obsession with sport – Suddenly a person is training every day, not only for health but also to prove themselves.
Career explosion – He/she throws everything into a job or a new project to show his/her success.
New image – Radically changes appearance, tries extreme hobbies or shows a “new life” on social media.
Why does it work?
Divorce upsets the emotional balance, and these changes often open up hidden energies. Whether it’s a genuine growth path or just a desire to prove your worth, the challenge effect can bring about a profound change.
Divorce hurts, but sometimes it is what transforms us into stronger versions of ourselves.